Women's Rights in Islamic Marriage

Introduction
Despite the predominant idea in the Western countries that Muslim women do not, or hardly, have basic human rights, in practice, but especially on theological basis, Muslim women actually do have more rights than their Western counterparts. To address all aspects of women's rights in Islam requires more space than a single essay; therefore I discuss only a part of the range of rights.
More intensely than many other societies, Muslim communities tend to divide the world into private (women's) and public (men's) spheres (Hassan), the public-private dichotomy, "which was never part of the Qur'anic world view but entirely cultural" argues Abou-Bakr (1999). This does not mean that one should adhere to the idea of cultural relativism to justify infringements on human rights in the 'Islamic culture' (Mayer, 1995: 8-9), but that there are general human rights that can be devised, being it universal 'man-made' rights as Mayer argues, or Divine rights1.
Nevertheless, the private sphere is very important in a Muslim woman's life, plus the assertion it being 'cultural' (read: societal, therefore changeable) as opposed to some pre-determined, God-given and/or natural order of things, I take a closer look its primary building block: marriage. After discussing the background in pre-Islamic times, I will outline the process of establishing the contract, polygamy and divorce (chapter 2), and how this can, or even does, influence conflict and peace in the larger community (chapter 3).
 Marriage
First and foremost, there is no one single interpretation or implementation of 'the' Islamic marriage, although there is Shari'a law used in Islamic countries to a greater or lesser extend. To be able to put the various rules and regulations concerning marriage in context, knowledge of societies in the pre-Islam period, known as Jahiliya (a state of barbarism and ignorance), is useful because the Divine words and explanatory hadiths written during and after the life of Mohammed was an attempt to improve the then prevalent situation. You are led to believe that before the revelations, chaos existed, with widespread female infanticide and women having no status at all and not taken care of:
"Reflecting the culture of the seventh- and eight-century Arab world, the saying voice the cumulative biases, against women, of the Jewish, Christian, Hellenistic and pre-islamic Bedouin Arab traditions" (Hassan)2
And:
"Women ... were in subjugation either to their kinsmen or their husbands. They were considered a chattel to be possessed, to be bought, to be sold or to be inherited ... women were considered a liability to their own tribes ... Such a deplorable situation illustrated that the rights and the liberties of women in those ancient societies were not only trampled upon, but were entirely denied to them." (Jawad, 1998:1-4)
However, Mernissi (1994:67) points out that this is only part of the whole story, claiming it to be selective memory to suit the decisions made in Islam with regards to the gender dynamics. After all, the Prophet's first wife Khadija was a rich businesswoman. Stern (in Mernissi, 1994:72)3 points out the matri-local character of pre-Islamitic marriages, and Mernissi herself notes the story of the Whores of Hadramaut (1994:76-79)4.

Notwithstanding the different ideas of the pre-Islamic period, the overall result was that during the Mohammed's life the rights of women improved, but gradually faded away after his death. The pre-Islamic patriarchal ideologies, combined with the lack of education and ignorance returned (as the rapid expansion of Islam didn't leave the new converts enough time to obtain sufficient Islamic education) (Shorish-Shamley).
  Marriage contract
Although I've read through many positive notions of what an Islamic marriage is supposed to be about ("catalyst for the development of their souls" (Jawad, 1998:31), "foster tranquility, love and compassion" (Anon 3, 1999)), practice can be quite different. First, rules and regulations as laid down in Islam in order to achieve a relatively stable and durable marriage bond. According to Jawad (1998:32-40) they are the following:
The couple have to be of proper marriageable age and there should be no discrepancy between their ages;
There should be a degree of compatibility between the two partners in terms of social status, educational standards and physical attraction;
The dowry (mahr) of the bride should be of a reasonable level;
The mutual consent of the couple is crucial for the stability and durability of the marriage, force or blackmail would automatically render the contract invalid;
The prospective partners have to be pious and of good moral conduct;
The marriage contract should be free of any hidden agenda such as casual or temporary unions Overall, marriage in Islam requires a contract between equal partners, but the bride has the exclusive right to stipulate her own conditions in the contract. Conditions may include aspects of marriage (like monogamy) and divorce terms (e.g. if she wants to have the right to dissolve the contract). The husband has to meet his legal responsibility to provide full maintenance of the wife; in turn, the wife should ensure that the duties as wife and mother are performed to the best of her abilities. Second, the not-so-positive reality. Surah 2 Verse 228 of the Qur'an states a rather disputable sentence:
"And woman shall have rights similar to rights them, according to what is equitable. But men have a degree of advantage over them." (emphasis added)
Surah 4:34 continues:
"Men have authority over women because Allah has made the one superior to the other."
Some see it as a degree in intelligence, other view it as a degree in superiority. However, many Muslim scholars argue that the degree is related to maintenance of the family: a man is legally obligated for this responsibility. Therefore, this "degree above them" has an economic base and has nothing to do with intelligence or superiority of men over women. (Shorish-Shamley). A moderate interpretation of the verse 4:34 is, that the man should be seen as the chair-person (Jawad, 1998:37) or leader (El-Haggan, 1998) instead of absolute superiority on all matters. Many girls are married off when they are still minors, which gives special importance to the right to move freely and to emigrate from oppressive conditions (Hassan). On the other hand, Muslim Family Law Ordinance in Pakistan has banned child marriage and set a minimum age for the marriage of boys to 18 years and girls 14 (Ahmed), which is, arguably, still the age of a child. Other noted problems are forced marriages and the husband prohibiting the wife free movement in the public sphere, even when a woman wants to go to the mosque, thereby
"The husband, in fact, is regarded as his wife's gateway to heaven or hell and the arbiter of her final destiny." (Hassan)
  Polygamy
Strictly in dictionary terms, polygamy means a marriage with more than one spouse, where the term polygyny refers to a husband with more than one wife and polyandry to a wife with more than one husband. That in everyday terms polygamy is used to refer to a situation that is actually described by polygyny tells us more about our (English-speaking Western) culture than what polygyny in Islam is about5 . What does the Qur'an say about polygyny? A few verses are widely cited to prove legitimacy of tolerating (thus not advocating) polygyny:
"...marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."
This verse came about after the war of Uhud, where many Muslim men died, thereby leaving behind widows and orphans. In a situation where there is no such thing as a developed welfare state redistributing tax money to mothers on social security and orphanage allowances, it allowed men to marry more than one woman, thereby providing her and her offspring a stable and secure environment where they wouldn't have to endure the (economic) hardship of surviving alone. Naik continues to justify this for 21st century: because the average life span of females is more than males, the world female population is larger than of males and therefore
"the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second."
In addition, Mababaya argues the plural marriages of the Prophet as the main guideline, but Jawad (1998:47-48) mentions only three exceptional circumstances where polygyny is permitted according to the Qur'an: the desire of a man to have children of his own (if the wife is unable to bear him children), if his wife is critically ill and therefore she is be unable to perform her duties as a wife and the social necessity as outlined in the previous alinea.
On the contrary, verses explaining The Creation mentions one man and one woman created out of one cell, not Adam and a team of women at his service (Patootie). The most cited counter-argument, though, is Surah Nisa verse 129 (4:129):
"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...."
indicating polygyny is an exception and not the rule. Though a more rigorous explanation, noting the moral and religious limitation on polygyny, is:
"... treating ones wives justly is a sine qua non for the practice of polygamy and since ... a man will not be able to attain justice no matter how hard he tries, polygamy in the end is unlawful or forbidden" (Jawad, 1998:45)
But it is argued that treating wives 'justly' is incorporated into given rules, where the husband must spend his nights with one of his wives not by preference, but on a rotational basis, allowing the women 'equal access' to the husband (Mernissi, 1994:137-138), lowering the possibility of emotional attachment and fostering the degrading idea of exchangeability of the wives.
Given the different interpretations of the verses and variations in societal structures in Islamic countries, the ruling with regards to allowing polygyny is diverse. Turkey (on paper a secular state) and Tunisia have banned polygyny altogether under Muslim Family Law, Pakistani men need to have permission from the Arbitration Council before engaging in a second marriage (Ahmed), Syria and Iraq require authorization of the Judge and in Egypt the wife has to give permission first (Jawad, 1998:46). The actual procedure by the Arbitration Council or the Judge and how permission by the woman is granted is another matter.
Divorce
In contrast with Christianity, Islam does acknowledge the dissolution of marriage: although marriage is considered a life-long commitment, a situation may arise where marriage cease to fulfill its purpose. In such a situation when all else fails, dissolution (in English the word divorce is more commonly used) may be initiated by either side or both the husband and wife (Jawad, 1998:73).
Before the marriage is dissolved, God encourages the husband and wife to appoint two arbitrators from each side as the first step to aid in reconciliation trying to prevent the process of divorce (Anon 3, 1999). Reasons for setting this process in motion can be their 'incompatibility', an impotent husband, one or both spouses suffer form a serious disease, or when the husband is put into prison for a long time. Then, dissolution can be initiated by the husband (talaq) or wife (khula, if the husband is not at fault). The man can do this verbally (see Verse 2:229, cited in Jawad, 1998:78) or in writing. Once done, there is a three-month waiting period () in whic'iddath there are no sexual relations between the two. This helps prevent hasty decisions made in anger and enables both parties to reconsider as well as determine if the wife is pregnant. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period is lengthened until she delivers. At any point during this time, the husband and wife are free to resume their relationship, thereby stopping the divorce process. (Anon 3, 1999). If the divorce statement is called upon for a third time, the dissolution is irreversible (Jawad, 1999:78), but the woman is allowed to keep her dowry (Anon 3). However, a woman seeking divorce via khula, may lose financial support and will lose her dowry. Besides that, khula is hardly used these days and Jawad suggests that many women may not even be aware of this possibility (1999:79). Last, when both parties agree to separate through mutual consent, no exchange or payment is made by either side
Back to reality. Despite women having the right under 'true' Qur'anic interpretation to dissolve marriage, men seem to have absolute power on the dissolution, mainly backed up by referring to Verse 2:228 and using 4:34 in the same breath (see �2.1), which can be interpreted in different ways. Most women are hardly allowed to exercise their right to divorce because of the tremendous social and mental pressures to which they are subjected (Hassan; Jawad, 1998:82). Further, to discourage women to initiate or agree with the above-mentioned idea of a no-fault divorce, they are normally denied custody of their children (Hassan). Moreover, one needs to take into account that the majority of Muslim women have had minimal, or no, education and no job, together with minimal social security (compared to European states) resulting in relatively more economic hardship.
Marriage in Islam: conflict or peace?
Mernissi (1994:126-131) discusses marriage as a conflict: conflict as part of being human, of sexuality and segregation between men and women, but most of all the inequalities between husband and wife in marriage. Article 36 of the Moroccan Code lists rights a husband has towards his wife, but he has no moral duties to fulfill. She adds Imam Ghazali's opinion that marriage for a woman equals slavery. The patriarchal system, sub-optimal establishment of the marriage contract, arguable degrading situation of polygyny and the practical restrictions for women on divorce is a reality, but the Qur'an views the marriage of a man and a woman as sharing of the two halves of society:
"Among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect" (30:21)
The objectives of marriage, aside from human reproduction, are love, mercy, mutual respect, justice, emotional well-being and spiritual harmony (Shorish-Shamley). Notwithstanding mentioned societal reality, the Qur'anic decrees
"No one but God can limit human freedom" (Surah 42:Ash-Shura:21)
"Judgment is Allah's alone" (Surah 12:Yusuf:40)
are interpreted in this context as:
"Without justice -- between men and women, as between classes and between nations -- there can be no peace in the world." (Hassan)
The roles of both the husband and wife (/wives) are equally essential for the successful working of family life, as it is considered the fundamental and primary root of human civilization (Ali). As the Qur'an considers the home as a microcosm of the umma, it is not possible to talk about peace in Qur'anic terms without the elimination of the inequities, inequalities, and injustices that pervade the personal and collective lives of human beings.
"If human beings can learn to order their homes justly so that the human rights of all within its jurisdiction - children, women, and men - are safeguarded, then they can also order their society and the world at large, justly." (Hassan)
There is a long way to go.
Conclusions
Purely looking at the Qur'anic verses, the potential is there for Muslims to achieve peace and harmony within marriage between man and woman, based on mutual respect, equality, love and understanding. The truth is, real-life in Islamic countries is far from the Qur'anic ideal, as is the case with most ideologies. Muslim women are often oppressed and denied their Divine Rights, even treated as an object instead of a full human being. Although there are variations in the implementation of Islamic Family Law between Islamic countries and in recent times they are given more rights, it probably will take several generations more to shake off the negative aspects of the (remnants of the pre-Islamic) patriarchal society with regards to establishing marriage, the contract itself, polygyny and the exercise of the women's rights of marriage dissolution. When Muslim women, and men, are educated about the 'true' interpretations and meanings of the Verses in the Qur'an, Islamic marriage may indeed be the important building block towards a just and peaceful society Islamic theologians claim it to be.

The Traditional Dresses Of The Ahoms : Assamese Culture

Assamese Dress

The Ahom age is the age of ornaments and attires of several types. For every class of people particular dresses and jewelleries were being assigned and therefore, it is through the appearance of a person only, one could be identified without any difficulty. The dresses that were worn by the king or by the higher officials of the Ahom kingdom were not worn by a subject. For male and female both the genders, different varieties of dresses were available. Today I am here to take you to that age, the age of the Ahoms where you can see the royal behaviours, the royal costume senses and also the way of styling of people of that time.
In the early years of the Ahom rule in Assam, the Ahoms were seen to wear black clothes and it was only later on that they switched to the white coloured clothes. As I said earlier, the dresses and ornaments depicted the class of a person of that time and that was displayed better by the turban and a kind of scarf, which is known as the ‘Seleng Sadar’. The higher officials, queens, princesses and the King used to drape turbans made of silk (pat-muga) in their head. Certain attires that were quite widely used and worn by the higher officials and also by some classes of the subjects are ‘Riha’ (a kind of cloth draped around the body and the shoulder), ‘Mekhela’ (a wrapper kind of cloth worn in the waist) and ‘Sula –Suria’ (a kind of short shirts and clothes made of Assam silks like Golden Muga, White Pat and Eri Silk) etc. So, whatever, they used to wear basically were made of Golden Muga, Pat and Eri silk only. ‘Majankari’ and ‘Sopapotia kapur’ are also certain other types of clothes which are being considered to be the best of the best and were worn by the Kings, Queens (Kuwaris) or other higher officials in special occasions only. It is since that golden age of handmade silk, Assam till now is carrying its glory of being the uncrowned monarch in the silk industry. 

Now let’s have a look at the particular type of dresses that were worn by the Ahoms. The females of the Ahom kingdom did not have to keep themselves under veils. In stead of that, they had to wear ‘Seleng Sadar’ in their heads like a turban and wore ‘Sula’ (a kind of one piece attire). Day by day these types of clothing changed and the Ahom females started wearing the ‘Mekhela Sadar’ made of Pat and Muga. Males used to wear ‘Suria’ (clothes covering from the waistline) and ‘Suti Sula’ (short shirts) and tied ‘Basual Tongali” (a kind of belt type strap) on their waist. These clothes were worn by both male and females of Ahom kingdom but the only difference was that based on the class of people, the materials and designs of these things varied.
So, after the dresses of the Ahoms, now comes the detail about the jewelleries and ornaments worn by them. The Ahoms were known for golden jewelleries. They were rich in gold and hence, you can see them wearing heavy jewelleries made of gold only. As gold was the recognition of the wealthy and royal families of Ahoms similarly, the people from lower strata used to wear jewelleries made of silver and bronze. However, some other poor natives wore brass-made ornaments too. The jewelleries were being designed and studded by colourful beads. Male and female, all used to wear various types of ornaments on various occasions but as it is very obvious, the females used to be ornamented more than the males. The jewelleries carried by the males were finger rings, ‘Hilikhamoni’ and ‘Motamoni’ (kind of chains worn around the neck), ‘Koriya’ and ‘Lukapar’ (ear rings) and ‘Baju’ (an armlet).
The females of Ahom kingdom, mostly from the wealthy and upper-class families were being designed and ornamented in such a way that each of them used to carry jewelleries weighing 20 to 30 tolas! The jewelleries worn by them include ‘Hirpota’ (worn in head, amidst hair); ‘Kopali’ (worn on forehead); gold and silver-made flowers in hair bun; ‘Keru’, ‘Thuria’, ‘Nejepota’, ‘Jangphai’, ‘Nejepota Jangphai’, ‘Uka Jangphai’, ‘Bakhrua’, ‘Long Keru’, ‘Boboiloga’, ‘Kaanphul’ and ‘Karnabaala’ in ears; ‘Naakphuli’ (nose ring); ‘Baju’ (armlet); ‘Muthikharu’, ‘Gaamkhuaru’, ‘Hosoruakharu’, ‘Potiya kharu’, ‘Mogormukhikharu’, ‘Guta kharu’, ‘Kangan’ and ‘Doliya Kharu’ (Bangles); ‘Siripota’, ‘Henepota’, ‘Jethinejiya’, ‘Parosokua’, ‘Mouranejiya’, ‘podumkoli’, ‘Barobirosa’, ‘Maas Bakoliya’, ‘Hirapota’, ‘Bakhorua’ and ‘Uka’ (finger rings) and ‘Chandrahaar’, ‘Kokali’, ‘Kardhoni’ and ‘Ghagor’ on waist.
In fact, it is in their neck only that they wore ‘Joonbiri’, ‘Dholbiri’, ‘Doriyabiri’, ‘Hilikhabiri’, ‘Parosokuabiri’, ‘Lotabakhoruabiri’, ‘Madoli’, ‘Mogormuribiri’, ‘Gejera’, ‘Bena’, ‘Dugdugi’, ‘Haat hori’, ‘Thupamoni’, ‘Sipat’, ‘Golpota’, ‘Hilikhamoni’, ‘Phusimoni’ and ‘Chadrahaar’. So, these are all those designs and varieties of ornaments that were once worn by the Queens and females of other strata. However, now also many of these jewelleries are found to be circulating from the predecessors to the successors and the new generations are also showing interest to get these back again. So, now it becomes quite easy for one to realize that actually how heavy and gorgeous an Ahom lady looked in all those jewelleries and attires.

Except for all those heavy and valuable ornaments, there are some other materials too which were quite widely used in the Ahom days. Actually such types of ornaments were used by those people who cannot afford to buy the golden, silver or bronze jewelleries. These are like the ornaments made of pig’s teeth, elephant’s bone and tiger’s nails etc.
As the Ahom community have been connected to several other communities of North-East like Manipur, Nora, Joyonta and Bhutan etc, one can see the influence of such cultures on it. The Ahom custom, tradition and even the lifestyle have more or less kind of similarities with such tribes.
An Ahom girl in the traditional Sadar and Muga-mekhela
Though not all dresses and ornaments are found to be in action but still many of those are still being found to be used by the Ahoms. Still Golden muga, silver and Eri silk is considered to be the clothes of major importance of the Ahoms and you can see an Ahom girl or lady looking fully ornamented and gorgeous in a ‘Pat-Muga Mekhala Sadar’!

Gondvana - the Mighty Kingdom in the olden days

The Culture of Gonds
The main diety of the Gonds is the pantheon - a single Temple which bows to all the Gods and Culture of the World. The Gond Clan is known as Persa Pen who protects all Clan Members.. They believe in the equality of the human beings without the discrimination of higher and lower society. This transparency can be clearly seen as they themselves have inclusions of Bhils and Santals in their tribes. They also worship the most ancient spirits as Gonds speak the unwritten languages related to Dravidians.
Each village of Gonds a Village Guardian and a Village Mother who are worshipped during all regular festivals. The Spirits both good and bad are supposed to be inhabit hills, villages, lakes and rivers. Sacrifices are made by the Village Priests - Devari - in most of the festivals. Most aspects of the Gond life are filled with animal sacrifices. But then most of the Gonds festivals are related to agriculture.
Most of the Gonds live in a Village with a Headman known as Mahji or Patel. A Village Council is also there which divides the Gonds into Castes called Ahir (Cowherds), Agaria (Blacksmith), Dhuli (Drummers) and Pardhan (bard and singers). A Gond Village has typically several hamlets. Houses made of hatch and mud have a verandah (outer space), living room, kitchen, special room for women, shrine room for Gods and a Guest Room. Gonds welcome visitors with tobacco leaves, fruits or other small gifts.
Gondvana - the Mighty Kingdom in the olden days still stands with the ruins of the Kingdom in its sand. From the 15th century to the 18th century, this region called Gondwana was the home to the Gonds. The Gondwana Land gave its name to the present day Africa, South America, Australia, India Sub Continent and Antarctica. The Gonds lost their lives in saving their lands from the then upcoming tribe called the Banjaras. Most of the Gonds describe themselves as hill people or as Koi or Koitur.
The inheritors of the Dravidian Culture - the Gonds are the simple tribes with a high thinking of non - egaliriatism. Mainly found in Central India the Gonds preach the Gods path and do agriculture as their main work.
Apart from Madhya Pradesh, Gonds can be found in Chattisgarh, Andhra Pradesh and Orissa. They are the largest Tribe in India, South Asia, and perhaps the world with nine million people (out of which four million resides in India). They speak language related to Telgu and Dravidian language. The spoken languages are generalized as Gondi and Hindi. They practice agriculture growing cereals. Herding cattles is also a part of their livelihood.

Gond Girl
The girl in this photograph looks like any of the modern girls who like traditional dresses. Though not to a large extent but the Gonds have changed themselves with the changing times.

The Home
It looks like any regular house in a small village. The Gonds have begun to live in the wooden houses from quite a time, another big change which is visual in the living ways of the Gonds.

Bodos Culture : a part of Assamese Culture.

Bodos are the true ethnic Tribal Community of Assam - the sub branch of the Bodo - Kachari Clan. The Bodos are the largest among the Bodo - Kachari Clan. They are also the most progressive. Bodos reside in the Brahamaputra valley and are considered to be largest ethnic and linguistic group of tribes. The Bodos speak Tibeto - Burmese language. Nowadays the Bodos have accepted the Devnagari Language. Bodos have a language of their own called Deodahi.
Earlier the Bodos were cut off from other parts of the Country due to their geographical area and weather conditions. This lead to the their lack in education and economy. This was one of the reasons of the arousal of the Bodoland Movement. The movement took its wings in the late 80's under the leadership of Upendra Nath Brahma who is now regarded as the Father of Bodos. A Bodoland Territorial Council was formed to save the Culture, language and identity of Bodos. It was headed by All Bodo Students Union (ABSU) and an armed militant group called the Bodo Liberation Tigers (BLT). Following the movement a settlement was reached between the Government and the Bodos. A land was given to the Bodos which came to be known as Bodoland.
In 2006, the former BLT members, formed an alliance with Indian National Congress under the leadership of Hagrama Mohilary and came into power in Dispur District Of Assam. Still in Assam, illegal immigrants occupy tribal belts.
Tea Plantation

One of the major income sources, the Bodos turn to working in tea estates. The women working in assam tea estates are mostly bodos.
Sericulture

Silk rearing, the Bodos take special interest in this work. Not only it is a source of livelihood, it is also one of the best means to know about the best quality silk.
The Culture of Bodos

Bodos in their ancient years used to pray their forefathers. Today they have changed significantly - they have accepted Hinduism as their main religion. They practice a Culture known as Bathouism. The plant Siju is taken for the worship as a symbol of Bathou Symbol. For the worship, a clean ground near the home or the courtyard of the home is taken. One pair of Betelnut called Goi betel leaf called pathwi is used as offering. The offering includes rice, milk and sugar. For the Kherai Puja which also happens to be the most important of all Pujas, an altar is placed in the rice field. The Bodos do not practice dowry and caste system as per their rules of Brahma Dharma.
The main work of Bodos is tea plantation, silk worm rearing, weaving, pig and poultry farming. They are also good bamboo craftsman. The main festivals of Bodos include Kherai - the colorful function which includes, drumming, singing and dancing (Bagurumba) to the rythmn of the drums. Garja, Hapsa Hatarnai, Awnkham Gwrlwi Janai, Bwisagu and Domashi are the other important festivals. The main cuisines of the Bodos include Narzi, Onla and Oma Bedor.

Mehendi ceremony in India are considered to be a sacred and sanctified ritual

Weddings in India are considered to be a sacred and sanctified ritual. They are long ritualistic and elaborate affair with lots of pre-wedding, wedding, post wedding ritual. The occasion of Mehendi is one of the most important pre-wedding rituals. It is fun a filled ritual, which is celebrated mainly by the bride's family. Different regions of the country celebrate the ritual in a different way according to their own marriage customs, rituals, and culture. The celebrations also depend on the wealth and status of the people. The bride's family celebrates Mehendi party for gathering bride’s friends and relatives for blessing the bride as well as for amusement.
The ceremony is mostly held at bride's place or sometimes in a banquet hall on the eve of the marriage ceremony or few days before the marriage. On this occasion a professional henna designer or some relative applies mehendi to the bride’s hands and feet. There are few places in India where it is a ritual that the first motif of henna or mehendi is applied by the bride’s sister-in-law whereas there are some places where the first mehendi motif is said to be auspicious if applied by bride’s mother.
The Mehendi or henna motif is not only the adoration of the bride rather it epitomizes her transformation from a virgin girl to a temptress for her husband. As per Kama Sutra, henna is one of the sixty four arts of women. Popular motifs of the bridal mehendi are conchshell, flowers, Kalash, peacock, doli and baraat patterns. The intricate motifs of the bridal henna also hide the husband’s name. It is said that the husband’s name in the intricate henna motifs is made for the groom who has to find out his name in his bride’s mehendi as an evidence of his sharp eyes and active brain to impress his girl.

Mehendi function is usually organized with the sangeet function. So, it has a festive feel to it with the women dancing and singing traditional songs on the mehendi ritual. The bride is dressed in light color clothes with light jewelry. According to the custom the bride must not step out of the house after the mehendi ritual until the wedding day. It is believed that the darker and deeper the henna stains the more the husband and the in-laws will love her bride. The ritual of mehendi signifies the strength and power of love in a marriage so it is regarded good omen for the would-be bride. It is said that the long the bride retains the mehendi, the more auspicious would be her future

Indian culture celebrates marriage as a sacrament

The Indian culture celebrates marriage as a sacrament (Sanskara), a rite enabling two individuals to start their journey in life together. In a Hindu wedding, the multiplicity of creation becomes possible when spirit (Purush) unites with matter (Prakritti). The Hindu wedding lays emphasis on three essential values: happiness, harmony, and growth.
The institution of marriage can be traced back to Vedic times. The ceremony should be held on a day in the "bright half" of the northern course of the sun.
Months before the wedding an engagement ceremony known as Mangni is held. This is to bless the couple, who are then given gifts of jewelry and clothing by their new family.
Jaimala (Exchange of Garlands)
The couple exchanges garlands as a gesture of acceptance of one another and a pledge to respect one another as partners.
Madhupak (Offering of Yogurt and Honey)
The bride's father offers the groom yogurt and honey as the expression of welcome and respect.
Kanyadan (Giving Away of the Bride)
The father of the bride places her hand in the groom's hand requesting him to accept her as an equal partner. The concept behind Kanyadan is that the bride is a form of the goddess Lamxi and the groom is Lord Narayana. The parents are facilitating their union.
Havan (Lighting of the Sacred Fire)
The couple invokes Agni, the god of Fire, to witness their commitment to each other. Crushed sandalwood, herbs, sugar rice and oil are offered to the ceremonial fire.
Rajaham (Sacrifice to the Sacred Fire)
The bride places both her hands into the groom's and her brother then places rice into her hands. Together the bride and groom offer the rice as a sacrifice into the fire.
Gath Bandhan (Tying of the Nuptial Knot)
The scarves placed around the bride and groom are tied together symbolizing their eternal bond. This signifies their pledge before God to love each other and remain faithful.
Mangalphera (Walk Around the Fire)
The couple makes four Mangalpheras around the fire in a clockwise direction representing four goals in life: Dharma, religious and moral duties; Artha, prosperity; Kama, earthly pleasures; Moksha, spiritual salvation and liberation. The bride leads the Pheras first, signifying her determination to stand first beside her husband in all happiness and sorrow.
Saptapardi (Seven Steps Together)
The bride and groom walk seven steps togehr to signify the beginning of their journey through life together. Each step represents a marital vow:
First step: To respect and honor each other
Second step: To share each other's joy and sorrow
Third step: To trust and be loyal to each other
Fourth step: To cultivate appreciation for knowledge, values, sacrifice and service
Fifth step: To reconfirm their vow of purity, love family duties and spiritual growth
Sixth step: To follow principles of Dharma (righteousness) Seventh step: To nurture an eternal bond of friendship and love

Jalastnchana (Blessing of the Couple)
The parents of the bride and groom bless the wedded couple by dipping a rose in water and sprinking it over the couple.
Sindhoor (Red Powder)
The groom applies a small dot of vermilion, a powdered red lead, to the bride's forehead and welcomes her as his partner for life. It is applied for the first time to a woman during the marriage ceremony when the bridegroom himself adorns her with it.
Aashirvad (Parental Blessing)
The parents of the bride and groom give their blessings to the couple. The couple touches the feet of their parents as a sign of respect.
Menhdi (Henna Ceremony)
The traditional art of adorning the hands and feet with a paste made from the finely ground leaves of the Henna plant. The term refers to the material, the design, and the ceremony. It is tradition for the names of the bride and groom to be hidden in the design, and the wedding night is not to commence until the groom has found both names. After the wedding, the bride is not expected to perform any housework until her Menhdi has faded away.

Mangalasutra (Thread of Goodwill)
A necklace worn specifically by married women as a symbol of their marriage.

Vedic Marriage Ceremony 13 Steps of a Hindu Wedding Rituals

Vara Satkaarah 
 Reception of the bridegroom and his kinsmen at the entrance gate of the wedding hall where the officiating priest chants a few mantras and the bride's mother blesses the groom with rice and trefoil and applies tilak of vermilion and turmeric powder. 

Madhuparka Ceremony 
Reception of the bridegroom at the altar and bestowing of presents by the bride's father.

 Kanya Dan 
The bride's father gives away his daughter to the groom amidst the chanting of sacred mantras.
 

Vivah-Homa 

The sacred fire ceremony ascertaining that all auspicious undertakings are begun in an atmosphere of purity and spirituality.
 

Pani-Grahan 
The groom takes the right hand of the bride in his left hand and accepts her as his lawfully wedded wife.

Pratigna-Karan 
 The couple walk round the fire, the bride leading, and take solemn vows of loyalty, steadfast love and life-long fidelity to each other.
 

Shila Arohan 
The mother of the bride assists her to step onto a stone slab and counsels her to prepare herself for a new life.

Laja-Homah 
Puffed rice offered as oblations into the sacred fire by the bride while keeping the palms of her hands over those of the groom.

Parikrama or Pradakshina or Mangal Fera 
The couple circles the sacred fire seven times. This aspect of the ceremony legalizes the marriage according to the Hindu Marriage Act as well custom.

Saptapadi 
Marriage knot symbolized by tying one end of the groom's scarf with the bride's dress. Then they take seven steps representing nourishment, strength, prosperity, happiness, progeny, long life and harmony and understanding, respectively.

Abhishek  
Sprinkling of water, meditating on the sun and the pole star.

Anna Praashan 
The couple make food offerings into the fire then feed a morsel of food to each other expressing mutual love and affection.

Aashirvadah 
Benediction by the elders.